One liner jokes

[BriansBrain]

Anyone got any one liner (or two/three) jokes they would like to share ?
Under 20 seconds long

My Radio Brian loves jokes especially double entendre ones 
He even has 18+ ones after 9pm

Here is an example of one of the latest added to his joke repertoire   

During my check-up I asked the Doctor,
Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?
He replied, I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in your anus right now.
I said, I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense.
He replied, neither do I. my thermometer just broke.


And here is Jeeves (Brian's butler) telling it

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[Dave]

For after 21.00

What do you call a dog with no tongue?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

[BriansBrain]

 

[bodley123]

  teacher in class with kids and she asks the children name something you cant do beginning with E a little girl puts up her hand and say,s SPELLING.

[Dave]

 

[BriansBrain]

OK........ good one 

[BriansBrain]

This is a new one liner I'm just making for my Radio Brian...

Hearing that a lorry full of snooker equipment has lost it's load on GC-1 near Play Del Ingles.
Apparently, there's Cues in both directions.

 

[Dave]

This is a new one liner I'm just making for my Radio Brian...

Hearing that a lorry full of snooker equipment has lost it's load on GC-1 near Play Del Ingles.
Apparently, there's Cues in both directions.

 

 

[Lee]

After seeing one of those confused people this morning, wearing Camouflage trousers with a hi-viz coat (does he want to be seen or not?), I remembered this one -
"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any"

First part is actually true 

[Dave]

After seeing one of those confused people this morning, wearing Camouflage trousers with a hi-viz coat (does he want to be seen or not?), I remembered this one -
"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any"

First part is actually true 

 

[BriansBrain]

After seeing one of those confused people this morning, wearing Camouflage trousers with a hi-viz coat (does he want to be seen or not?)

Thanks...... I can use that for Brian